Connections

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you reading this on posting day!

This post was inspired by a friend in conversations for a project we are doing. As we talked, a common theme emerged – connections. Everything we talked about occurred because of connections; direct or indirect, intentional or serendipitous. That got me thinking about how connections drive our lives often without us realizing it.

Connections to others, nature, the world around us, to ourselves – emotions, thoughts, moods, goals – and to experiences (our own or the experiences of others that we identify strongly with) are the driving force that propels us forward in life. Take a moment to think about all the connections you have. If you’re like me, you have way too many to count, and likely have a bunch you are not even conscious of. Our lives are intricate webs of connections that help us navigate, much like the neural connections in our brains.

Connections open doors and create opportunities. Think about a job – or jobs - you had the chance to interview for because you knew someone in the company. Your connection got you that interview, and you earned that position. But without that connection you probably would not have gotten the interview. Examples like that are everywhere in our lives. I’ve had the pleasure of helping to can beer at our local brewery thanks to making a connection with the owners. If I didn’t have that connection – or if I wasn’t retired with the freedom in my schedule – I would not have been asked to participate. And I wouldn’t be occasionally working for beer in retirement – bonus!

When you stop to think about it, nothing happens without connections. It may take a bit of reflection to understand how a particular event was influenced by your connections, but I guarantee that if you look hard enough you will find at least one. This is one way in which how we live our lives impacts what we get out of life. Being closed to the people and the world around us – or on our phones instead of paying attention to that world – will limit your connections and could limit how connected to the world you feel. Ironic that being constantly “connected” to your phone or computer actually breaks your connection to the real world. Those of you with teenagers are probably nodding vigorously right now.

How many times have you been out for dinner or drinks and seen couples or groups of friends sitting together but all on their phones? They are shutting those around them out and missing the whole point of being out together. Especially poignant when a couple does this for extended periods of time. Funny story about a friend’s daughter who lost cell phone privileges as punishment and freaked out because she couldn’t “talk” to her boyfriend. When her mom pointed to the phone on the wall and said “call him”, she responded with “I can’t call him, we don’t talk, we text”. Wait, what?! That’s not a connection, that’s an extension of a video game.

Another example of making connections happened on our trip to Cooperstown with our nieces and nephew, and my wife’s sister & her husband last summer. Our brother-in-law is a guitarist and singer and had brought his guitar. He started playing and the kids jumped in, singing, improvising instruments, and composing “songs” on the fly. It was completely spontaneous and the 4 cousins interacted together in a way they had never done before, having a blast. Full disclosure, that is not my thing, but instead of retreating to a quiet part of the house – thus blocking a connection – I grabbed the book I had with me and sat down to read on the couch while the band played on – and on – at the nearby dining room table. While not my cup of tea, seeing them have so much fun was something I couldn’t pass up – though ear plugs are on my travel list for our next trip.

It is vital to continually make connections in order to live a full life and to grow and learn. Connections open doors to opportunities, what we do with those opportunities is up to us. So be open to the world around you and see where your connections can take you.

I will be taking the next two weeks off as I will be making new connections on our annual “get the hell out of NJ in February” trip. Look for my next post on 3/07/2022.

www.RetiredandInspiredat55.com 2-14-2022