Friends

Friends are our lifeline in tough times, and we sure are in tough times right now. Whether you’ve got more friends than you can count or have only a couple of really close friends, interacting with them provides energy and lifts your spirits.

       As the years go by, friends, like the tide, come in and out of our lives. We make new friends and some old friends drift away as our lives diverge. Kids make friends easily, but as we get older it seems harder to make new friends. Maybe it’s a fear of opening ourselves up to others, maybe it’s the complications of life getting in the way, or maybe we just get more guarded as we age. Now that you’ve retired you have the time and opportunity to be with your friends (unless the unfortunate souls are still working) – maybe not in person, but by phone or video chat – and to make new friends by engaging in the activities you enjoy and talking to others doing the same things.

       For me, sitting at the bar at our local brewery became the path to making new friends over the last couple of years. My wife calls it my happy place as just being there helps me exhale – and a couple of pints of really good beer helps too. At the brewery, we all have a love of beer in common, so it’s easy to strike up a conversation on that topic while enjoying a pint or two. What better way to meet new people than to strike up a conversation with the person next to you no matter where you are? For me, that has sometimes led to making new friends, but it always provides an energy boost from interacting with new people. For that reason, my wife and I prefer to sit at the bar or at a communal table when we go out to eat. We’ve met so many interesting people that way and had many memorable evenings.

       On the other side is maintaining friendships over time. While I am still in contact with my RU roommates from way too long ago, due to distance and busy lives we only see each other a couple of times a year at best. Once Covid hit though, we started getting together on Zoom calls every few weeks and we still connect that way about once a month. It’s been great to connect with them in a new way, and very ironic that since the lockdown we’ve “seen” each other more than we had before. With busy schedules it’s tough to find common time but we hope to get together live soon. In the meantime we look forward to the calls to share what’s new, reminisce a bit, and just connect.       

       In this crazy time it’s more important than ever to have a support network, and friends are a huge part of that. Take the time to cultivate the friendships you have and know that it’s OK to let go of old friends whose lives no longer mesh with yours.  By having the courage to interact with new people, you’ll open yourself to making new friends. Sure, it can be scary to interact with “strangers” but doing so while engaged in an activity you love, or in a place where you are comfortable will make it easier. You won’t always click with these strangers, but you’ll have a lot of interesting conversations along the way and maybe you’ll make a new friend too.

www.RetiredandInspiredat55.com  09-30-2024