How to Silence Your Inner Ageist

This week’s post is a bit different as the below is an excerpt of a recent article that really hit home for me. It’s from https://further.net/ - a weekly newsletter that I receive. I highly recommend it for those over 50 – and under 50 too.

Note that all the embedded links below are from the original article by Further.

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Oh, grow up!

Today, I’ve adopted that Joan Rivers’ catchphrase as my clapback when my inner critic pipes up. That voice in our heads will never stop nattering because we come wired with it — it’s like an amygdala-controlled Alexa with no off-button. The stress response is there to keep you “safe,” but really, it’s a habituated reaction to past experiences and beliefs.

Naturally, this means your mind is often your most eager saboteur when you’re growing and changing. At midlife, one of our brain’s most common refrains is some variation of: You’re too old.

Thinking about going solo and starting your own business? Too late.

Want to go back to school to upskill? You were never a great student; what makes you think you can start now?

Aiming to stay rad in your 50s (and beyond)? Who says rad over 12 years old? Act your age!

The list goes on and includes every topic we cover here at Further, as we’re dedicated to helping you live your best life at midlife.

Your brain, on the other hand, has some firmly entrenched ageist attitudes. And not just your mind — everyones’. Witness Becca Levy, PhD, who literally wrote the book on shifting your beliefs about aging to live longer and better. In Breaking the Age Code, she tells a story about running a 5K without stretching and badly pulling a muscle. It took her teenage daughter to point out that anyone, at any age, under those conditions, would’ve gotten injured. As Dr. Levy recounts:

I had instinctively attributed my injury to something other than skipping a warm-up. Instead, I had blamed my age: my mind had made connections that I don’t consciously believe — that your body falls apart as you age.

The truth is you can do much more than you think you can. The trick is to shush that inner ageist so you can keep going. Here are a few proven ways to stop negative, biased thinking:

1. Accept that you are not your thoughts: The story in your head is just that — a story. There are many proven ways to befriend your brain and quiet your inner critic, such as meditation.

2. Stop playing the “compare and despair” game: This can be challenging in the age of social media. But take it from Warren Buffet: you’ll win by using an “inner scorecard,” where you focus on incremental improvements for your own sake — nobody else’s.

3. Practice self-compassion: Pause when you mess up to consider if you’d speak to a friend the way you’re scolding yourself. And use curiosity, comforting self-touch, and positive action, like wishing to accept all parts of yourself, to move forward.

4. Celebrate achievements: Acknowledging wins, no matter how small, is a great way to bolster your emotional well-being and counteract the Debbie Downer/Bob Bummer in your mind.

5. Shift your perspective: How do you start seeing things differently, in a way your inner critic can’t compete with? You broaden your horizons by questioning your limiting beliefs. We meditation teachers call this “correcting the intellect,” which you’re already doing by consuming Further’s personal growth content. Look for books, newsletters, podcasts, and other resources that help you evolve past perspectives that no longer serve you.

Your inner ageist doesn’t want you to outgrow its words of “wisdom.” But you’re old enough to know better: the only way to silence a critic is to stop paying attention to its lousy reviews.

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I hope this article resonated with you the way it did with me and I encourage you to checkout Further for much more on the subject of living life to the fullest.

I will be taking next week off for Independence Day. Next post will be the week of July 10th.

Enjoy the holiday!

www.RetiredandInspiredat55.com 6-26-2023