Weather the Storm

Having recently gone through 2 days of rain from Hurricane Henri, followed by much worse from Ida, I got to thinking about all the storms we face in our lives. Whether it’s an actual storm, a health issue, loss of job, the Covid nightmare, loss of a loved one, addiction, or simply Zoom-itis, we all face storms periodically. How we deal with them and move on is the key to how fulfilling our life will be.

I have a friend who in the last 2+ years has lost friends and family members, suffered through a nasty bout with Covid, and has had successive other health issues. It seems that he gets to exhale after one storm for only a short time before the next one hits. He is currently battling the latest weather event in his life, yet he is one of the most positive people I know, and he is always there for family and friends to help in any way he can. This guy doesn’t get pushed down by a storm, he’s stronger when he comes out the other side.

On the other extreme, there are those who seem to have everything but somehow are never satisfied. It’s always storming in their lives as they thrash about in the flood waters searching for the elusive “it” that will finally make them happy. For these folks, the “it” they seek is some external thing that will somehow make the storm go away. That search is kind of like trying to get the big prize in the crane machine at the arcade, “it” keeps slipping out of your grasp just before you can get it out of the machine. Seeking something external is an endless loop that can spiral badly if left unchecked.

I wish I could say that I am like my friend in paragraph 2, but sadly I am not. On the bright side, I’m not like those in the last paragraph either. I’m somewhere in the middle and am moving closer to the former as I age – and get wiser (though my wife might disagree on the wiser part). Age has taught me that the little stuff isn’t as important as it seems, though it sure can be frustrating in the moment if we don’t take a second to exhale and look at the big picture. For me that exhale is frequently an expletive filled release, sometimes at high volumes. Not socially proper, but it works to vent off the steam and help me step back, sometimes even laughing at myself for getting upset at something so minor.

The other thing I’ve learned through experience, OK and age, is that only I determine how I weather life’s storms. I can choose to be positive or negative or somewhere in between, but whatever I choose, it’s on me and not dependent on anyone or anything else. That’s a hard one for some of us to grasp and requires checking our ego at the door sometimes. It’s much easier to point to someone or something external when we feel battered by life. Easier but not conducive to being ready for the next storm when it hits.

We see examples of people owning their situations all time when big storms hit. The couple interviewed in front of the rubble of their home after a tornado ripped through their town and speaking about how lucky they are that they, their family, and friends are OK. Sure they lost most of their possessions, but those can be replaced they say. I admire people like that. People so strong and positive are inspiring and make me feel a little better about the state of humanity. These people are going to be fine no matter what comes their way because they aren’t looking externally for happiness and validation.

All of us have the choice to rely on external factors to make us happy or whole, or to provide whatever we strive for, or to put that on ourselves. Those that choose the seemingly easier road will find themselves frequently fighting the storm and trying to swim against the current, wasting energy and ultimately failing. For those with the courage to know that only they can determine how they weather life’s storms, there will be a lot more rainbows after the storms pass.