What's the Rush?

In our workaday lives we rush from task to task in an effort to keep up with all the stuff going on at work and at home. While immersed in the chaotic daily scramble many of us dream of retiring and the quiet it will bring to our lives – kids out of the house, no time clock to punch, no fixed schedules. Ahh, freedom to relax.

Trouble is, we’ve spent so much of our lives on the hamster wheel that we can get lost without the structure that defined us for so long. Speaking to a friend today about his Mediation business - https://www.equitablemediation.com/ - he mentioned how taken aback clients are when he asks them questions like “how much child support do you need?” They are shocked to be asked about their needs instead of being told what they will get or what to do. When the spouse answers it frequently triggers a productive conversation in which both spouses agree on an amount on their own.

That is a strong parallel to the transition from working to retirement. Many struggle without the structure imposed by workday routines and some keep up many of those routines to avoid feeling lost. No longer being told what to do and when to do it releases us, but at the same time it can be scary to have to make our own decisions, fill our own time, and figure out what the heck to do with ourselves. For this reason, many soon-to-be retirees start planning their time in retirement well in advance. While this can reduce the stress of impending loss of structure, it can box the retiree into a new set of routines to replace the old ones. For some that’s a good thing and they thrive.

I am not one of those people and I know a lot of others who feel the same. Sure I had an idea of what I wanted to do after taking several months to detox from all that structure, but I did not make any concrete plans. First, I spent my career planning and I didn’t want that to spill over into retirement, and second, the universe has a warped sense of humor regarding our detailed plans. On that last part, the universe threw me (and all of us) a curve with Covid hitting just after I left the corporate world. Good thing I didn’t have detailed plans as they would have likely crashed and burned, potentially taking me with them.

The ensuing pause in life gave me time to think about what I wanted to do. Not what I could do or how I could do it, just what I wanted to do. If you’ve been following my blog you know that I decided to take my journaling to the next level and start this blog. Without that forced pause I may have taken a dive back into the corporate arena through process consulting work. Something I had done for most of my career and something I knew I could do well, but at the same time, something I didn’t want to get trapped back into. Other opportunities have presented themselves over the last year too. I just had to slow myself down so I could see and grab them. There’s always a silver lining!

A friend who retired in the spring of this year already had a consulting firm setup before he retired. Right away he had a few clients even though Zoom was still the order of the day. I had lunch with him a few months after his transition and he spoke of doing other things completely outside his corporate world expertise. Time had given him the clarity to think about what he really wanted to do and enabled him to see beyond the box he had setup for himself. He’s got the stability of the consulting gig, plus a new focus on something he’s always wanted to pursue – and he’s much happier and relaxed.

Whether you are retired already, getting ready for retirement, or looking at a potentially long road to get there, take time to think about what you really want to do. Don’t worry about the “how”, that will come once you are focused on the “what”. If you want it you can and will make it happen. So, what’s the rush? Slow down and open yourself up to the possibilities. Take the time to enjoy life’s precious moments, and to set yourself up to make more of them.