You're In My Seat

We humans are creatures of habit and some of us can be over-the-top protecting “our space”. When we are defending what is actually ours this is normally not an issue. However, when that space is an unassigned seat or spot at a conference, class, meeting or even concert, some people take being territorial to an extreme – which can be amusing, but also dangerous.

While watching a documentary about the Staten Island Ferry I was amazed to hear one of the ferry attendants talk about regular riders having “their own” seats and becoming very aggravated if someone dared to take “their seat”. In some instances, attendants had to break up heated verbal and even physical altercations when the seat’s “owner” demanded the offender get up or face consequences. Note that there are no assigned seats on the commuter ferry for it’s short trip from Manhattan to Staten Island.

Being one of those people who likes to change things up during multi-day classes or meetings I routinely would pick a different seat each day if I was able to. For me it was part social experiment and part just wanting to interact with other people. For those of you who know me, you get the social experiment part as you are likely thinking, “yeah, he can be a nudge that way” – compliment taken. The interacting with other people part was a bit of a stretch at first for me as I, like most of us, would look for a seat with people I knew to help me stay as much as possible in my comfort zone. Only later in life did I become adventurous enough to deliberately take a seat with people I did not know – and to receive the benefit of making new connections.

Of course, there are those situations in which you don’t know anyone else in the room and you just take a seat. That was the case on the first day of my four weeks of Six Sigma training and we all took random seats. The next day I switched my seat to another table so I could meet more of my fellow students, and to see how others would react. All was good until the woman whose seat I had “taken” came in and promptly flipped out. There was no calming her down no matter how the class and instructor tried so I had to vacate “her” chair. Note that I ended up in another different seat which luckily didn’t have such a possessive owner. Crisis avoided and social experiment successful. We all knew a lot about that woman thanks to her little tantrum.

Another aspect to the experiment was to see how instructors and facilitators would react. Most got it right away and were as interested to see how the switch played out as I was. Several commented to me over the years that it was extremely rare for participants to do that and some even found it a refreshing attempt to change things up. They also were on board with my other quest to make new connections, some even calling out the switch when it fit as an example for the material being covered. There were a few though who pegged me as “that guy” looking to stir things up, but the knowing instructors just chuckled and enjoyed watching how people reacted. Happily, while some speed bumps came up, mainly producing several confused people due to the domino effect, nothing ever escalated as in the previous example.

The above has been my way of illustrating my point which is, don’t be afraid to shake things up. As humans we crave routine, but to paraphrase a famous movie, too much routine makes Jack a dull boy (or whatever he identifies as today). I’m not advocating revolutionary action, just looking for little ways to change things up for you and those around you – hopefully in a positive way. Embracing - and instigating - change is essential to growth and may even open doors we didn’t know existed. For those of you who already do that, bravo and keep it up! For those of you who “own that seat”, lighten up and take the opportunities that are presented to you to see things differently and to grow.

www.RetiredandInspiredat55.com 5-02-2022