Changing Priorities

One of my first posts that came up again amidst the changes in my life.

As we evolve through life, our goals and priorities ebb and flow with age. Coming out of college I was the typical idealistic, naïve, energetic youngster. I wanted nothing to do with the evil big companies, and focused on small, family-owned businesses to get my start. That naïve idealism lasted only a few years as reality set in – unless I was a family member, there was not a long-term future to be had, and certainly no path for career advancement.

From idealism came practicality; time to move to one of those evil corporations and build a career. At this stage, making money and growing in my career were my focus at work. Outside of work, being in my mid-twenties, there were a lot of distractions to keep me occupied and pursuing as many as possible was primary. That was sometimes counter to those career goals, but at that stage of life we are smart enough to know better, but not smart enough to resist.

Next stage sees us (mostly) smart enough to resist as our mentality shifts to more stabilization – career, family, home, etc. Putting in those long hours at work are fine as long as we see a benefit from them (what a difference a couple of generations make!) and we gladly took on more responsibility and projects. We’re in our peak earning years at this point and we want to make the most of them. This is also the period that we usually get the most satisfaction out of our career. That can be detrimental to other areas of our life, just as giving in to those distractions earlier could be, but we justify the impact by the increasing pay checks and career advancement.

As we continue to grow – and age – our psyche begins to look for meaning in our career. We’re moving past our peak earning years and money is not the driver that is used to be. This seems to happen around mid-forties to early fifties and coincides with age discrimination that may be encountered when trying to move to new roles within your company (that’s a topic for another post though). Experience and confidence tend to be high at this point in life and being able to make a difference with what we do becomes the main driver and can lead to dramatic career changes, starting a business, or getting serious about early retirement so you can pursue other opportunities. You know the one I opted for.

All this time, our friendships are evolving too. I wrote a bit about friends in a previous post and the tie-in here as how our friendships change with each stage of life. Some friends fit during a stage or two, but you grow apart. Others drift in and out as you both change and grow, being close when your stages are in synch, and more distant when you’re not. And that’s OK. Your true friends will always be there, just maybe not in the same way all the time. Finally, you make new friends along the way – friends that are aligned with where you are in your phase of life. It does get harder to make friends as we age, but as I wrote previously, interacting with new people can lead to new friendships.

Then there’s the materialistic aspect of our lives. We tend to follow a curve – starting out light as we don’t want a lot of responsibility while we pursue those distractions. We’ll be blowing money on good times and fun stuff though. As we look for stabilization, a home comes into focus, along with all the possessions to fill it. Next up may be a bigger home, newer vehicles, more extravagant vacations, and the like. Stuff that allows us to showcase how successful we are (money-wise at least). As we move past that stage (some never do) and fulfillment becomes more important we might look to downsize our home (those with kids are either empty-nesters or getting there) reduce our conspicuous consumption and focus on things that feed our souls – maybe that big trip we have always wanted to take (not about extravagance, this one is about the experience). At this point in life, it’s about living the life we want, not about having the most toys to show off, and we are better for it.

This wouldn’t be complete without mentioning Covid and how it has impacted the priorities of many of us. Not just Covid and the havoc it has wreaked upon us, but any major illness in ourself or a family member can jar us into revelations that change our focus and priorities.

Being individuals there is no hard and fast rule about what phase you should be in at what age. There is a common evolution of psyche that drives us through those phases, and likely spawned the “act your age’ admonition. My version of that is “act the age you feel” and do what brings you joy and fulfillment.

www.RetiredandInspiredat55.com  10-06-2025